Life can often throw us those unexpected curves balls that make us wobble and deal with those situations or events emotionally and irrationally, once the situation has been resolved or passed we usually get back on track and equilibrium is restored within. However, sometimes we can't seem to get back on track or restore that equilibrium, and we need a little help to do this.
Poor sleep is one of the most common health problems that can leave you feeling exhausted, stressed and run down. 1 in 4 people today now suffer with sleeping difficulties. Everyone has the occasional night of poor sleep or we find it difficult to drop off to sleep especially if we feel stressed or worried about something. Suffering from continuous poor sleep will often cause many other issues or conditions; impatience, intolerance, higher stress level, poor coping methods, over whelmed, anxiety, inability to think clearly, lack of motivation, low energy, poor eating habits, lower immune system, poor health, generally feeling low or unhappy the list is endless. The symptoms of poor sleep are: finding it difficult to fall asleep at night, waking up through out the night, laying awake during the night, waking too early, restless legs, night terrors and sleep walking. As a solution focus therapy, time will be spent looking at how to find a realistic and practical approach to finding the solution and restoring REM (good sleep) as quickly as possible.
It’s worth remembering; Everything you do in the day will affect your sleep at night
......I woke up, and it was morning, I had slept through the whole night. I feel amazing, I haven't felt this good in a very long time......Berkshire Personal Fitness Trainer
Stress & Anxiety
Short term Anxiety can be useful and productive. Feeling nervous before an interview or exam may help feel more alert and improve performance.
However, when that anxiety leads to destructive or negative thoughts and behaviours, they have a dramatic impact on all aspects of our lives, relationships, careers, health and well-being.
Negative Thoughts and Negative thinking are a thought process where people tend to find the worst in everything, everyone, or everything about themselves. Negative thinking tends to manifest into a pattern that can cause tremendous stress, worry or sadness over time. People see things only as either good or bad. There is no middle ground. When something bad occurs, they automatically blame themselves. If something goes wrong, they automatically think that the rest of the day will be a disaster. They feel that they have to be perfect or they’re a total failure.
The constant stream of negative thoughts prevents any form of creative problem-solving occurring. Negative thinking can often turn into self-destructive thoughts and behaviours. Negative thinking is limiting and holds a person back in achieving their full potential in life.
Self-destructive behaviours vary greatly; eating disorders, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, compulsive gambling, self-harming, over eating, not taking prescribed medication. Self-destruction can also take the form of self-sabotage or self-defeating behaviours, continually doing things or behaving in a way which is bound to lead to one’s own failure or downfall or break up of relationships.
You can learn to turn negative thinking and destructive behaviour into positive thinking and positive behaviour. The process is simple, but it does take time and practice.
......After my 6 sessions not only had i overcome the original feelings but I had changed my life perception and got a new job.....HR Director
Panic Attacks & Phobias
A panic attack is simply an exaggeration of the body’s normal response to fear, stress or excitement. It is a rapid build-up of over-whelming sensations: pounding heart, feeling faint, sweating, nausea, chest pains, breathing discomfort, feelings of losing control, blacking out or feeling like you’re having a heart attack, this can be an extremely frightening experience. People begin to feel very scared and frightened of the panic attacks themselves and are forever living with the thought that an attack could arise at any given moment. Panic attacks do usually come on quickly and symptoms peak within 10 minutes, most attacks are between 5-20 minutes. Panic attacks can often occur whilst sleeping at night because the brain is on high alert due to poor quality sleep and an excess of anxiety.
A phobia is relentless dread of a situation or an irrational overwhelming and debilitating fear, in which the sufferer has over, a living creature, a place or thing or feeling. They develop when a person has an exaggerated or unrealistic sense of danger about a situation or object. Individuals with a phobia go to great lengths to avoid a perceived danger which is much greater in their minds than in real life. Phobias are more pronounced than fears.
......No one had ever suggested or explained any of this to me, I left the consultation feeling more confident and reassured that I could overcome these feelings of anxiety.....Berkshire Woman 28yrs
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Most of us have some form of light OCD or simply ‘quirky’ ways of doing things. However OCD for some people it can be totally debilitating, taking up hours of each day. Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is a condition where a person has obsessive thoughts and compulsive activity. An obsession is an unwanted and unpleasant thought, image or urge that repeatedly enters a person's mind, causing feelings of anxiety, disgust or unease. Symptoms vary greatly with each person; counting, tapping, actions, words, prayers. A physical action is created to help reduce the mental pressure created by the persons thought process. The more anxious a person becomes the more the OCD symptoms will show themselves.
All too often I see clients who have self diagnosed themselves with depression or have been wrongly prescribed anti depressant drugs by their GP. Depression is more than simply feeling unhappy or fed up for a few days.
We all go through spells of feeling down, but when you're depressed you feel persistently sad for weeks or months, rather than just a few days.
Some people still think that depression is trivial and not a genuine health condition. They're wrong. Depression is a real illness with real symptoms, and it's not a sign of weakness or something you can "snap out of" by "pulling yourself together".
Depression is a mood disorder characterised by low mood and a wide range of other possible symptoms, which will vary from person to person. An illness that can develop quickly or gradually, and be brought on by life events and/or changes in body chemistry. It can strike anyone, and is curable, with the right treatment and support, people can make a full recovery.
If you have been experiencing several of the symptoms for a long time, not on and off for just a few weeks, you might have depression.
- Sadness and feeling weepy.
- Numbness, lethargy and a loss of interest in things and activities you used to enjoy.
- Wanting to hide away from people, perhaps even by staying in bed.
- Constant tiredness and problems sleeping.
- Loss of appetite, or eating to excess for the comfort it may bring.
- Stress and frustration.
- Irritability and aggression.
- Feeling that you cannot cope.
- Inability to see any glimmer of a 'light at the end of the tunnel'.
- Asking yourself what the point of living is.
Feeling Low, Fed up or Sad
Lots of clients come into the clinic feeling this way, they know they are not depressed, but somethings not right, they’re not firing on all cylinders, life become too difficult and an upward struggle. They have lost motivation, drive, ambition and their sparkle. This could be for a number of reasons: relationships issues, work load, lonely, financial worries, boredom, poor sleep, challenging children, stress, the list is endless. Within a few sessions clients are able to feel brighter, happier, more motivated, taking control and enjoying life once more also looking into the future in a more productive and positive way.
Low Self-Esteem & Low Confidence
Self-confidence differs from self-esteem and are often lumped together as the same trait. Confidence is linked with the external world and how others see us; how we present ourselves and what we achieve. Self-esteem, however, is more about our own relationship with ourselves and how we feel deep down about who we are.
Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves, this may be positive, negative or move between the two points. When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us able to deal with life’s ups and downs better. When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges life throws at us usually dictates how you live your life and the decisions you make and how you view others Low self-esteem often begins in childhood. Teachers, friends, siblings, parents, and even the media give us lots of messages – both positive and negative.
The beliefs you have about yourself often appear to be statements of fact, although actually they're really only opinions. They are based on the experiences you've had in life, and the messages that these experiences have given you about the kind of person you are. If your experiences have been negative, your beliefs about yourself are likely to be negative too. People continually compare themselves with those around them, highlighting our insecurities and often leading us to feel negative about ourselves and the way we live. We lose sight of the value of our own individuality and then feel inadequate and unsatisfied. When low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can have a harmful effect on our mental health and our lives.
Self-confident people are generally more positive and believe in themselves and their abilities, whereas those with low self-confidence often have negative thoughts about themselves and their ability, which then leads to a downward spiral of under-achievement and disappointment.
Self-confidence is about trusting your own judgement and feeling comfortable with your abilities and powers. It is the means to realise your full potential and be the person you want to be. Confident people set realistic goals, learn useful skills and undertake tasks to get to where they want to be level of self-confidence can be seen by others in many ways; in your body language, your behaviour, how you speak and how you react to different situations.
Good self-confidence can bring benefits to all areas of your life, including relationships, career, social life and state of mind. Some people are self-confident in their work-life but not in their social life, we all differ. People feel comfortable with confident people as they are usually predictable and their behaviour is reliable.
To build self-confidence and overcome low self-esteem is to change how we feel emotionally about ourselves.
Destructive Behaviour & Negative Thoughts
Destructive or negative thoughts and behaviours have a dramatic impact on all aspects of our lives, relationships, careers, health and well being. There is a spectrum of self-destructive thoughts and behaviours, from mild to risky to fatal.
Negative Thoughts Negative thinking is a thought process where people tend to find the worst in everything, everyone, or everything about themselves, or reduce their expectations by considering the worst possible scenarios. Negative thinking tends to manifest into a pattern that can cause tremendous stress, worry, or sadness over time. People see things only as either good or bad. There is no middle ground. When something bad occurs, they automatically blame themselves. If something goes wrong, they automatically think that the rest of the day will be a disaster. They feel that they have to be perfect or they’re a total failure, making any mistakes is taken badly.
The constant stream of negative thoughts in the mind has prevented any form of creative problem-solving. Negative thinking can often turn into self destructive thoughts and behaviour, low self esteem and low confidence. Negative thinking really limits us and holds us back in achieving our full potential in life.
Self-destructive behaviours vary greatly; eating disorders, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, compulsive gambling, self harming, over eating, not taking prescribed medication. Self-destruction can also take the form of self-sabotage or self-defeating behaviours, continually doing things or behaving in a way which are bound to lead to one’s own failure or downfall or break up of relationships.
You can learn to turn negative thinking and destructive behaviour into positive thinking and positive behaviour. The process is simple, but it does take time and practice.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder caused by very stressful, traumatic, frightening or distressing event either experienced it or witnessed.
PTSD can develop immediately after someone experiences a disturbing event or it can occur weeks, months or even years later. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.
Many people who go through traumatic events have difficulty adjusting and coping for a while, but they don't have PTSD. With time and good self-care, they usually get better. But, if the symptoms get worse or last for months or even years and interfere with your functioning, you may have PTSD-traumatic stress disorder.
In some cases the anxiety attached to these events can be resolved simply with a couple of sessions, putting things back into perspective and leaving the event behind us, enabling us to get back on with our lives.
Sometimes, when we are having trouble in one part of our life, it can affect another part, which could be completely unrelated. Many sexual problems are like this. The difficulties you may be having in your sex life may be caused by something else. A very simple example of this is when you have a lot on your mind, you often don’t feel like having sex. This is a very mild and temporary situation, and soon goes away. However, if a problem is more severe it can have stronger and longer-lasting effects on your sex life.
You may be suffering from stress or have had a traumatic experience, or you feel unhappy with your life – it could be any number of reasons. These then have a knock-on effect on your sexuality: this could result in anything from a complete lack of desire, to problems with erections or painful intercourse. By getting help to find the root of the problem and then treating it, can help to improve your sex life.
Examples of issues:
- General breakdown in a couple’s sexual relationship
- Loss of sexual desire
- Painful intercourse
- Sexual difficulties following abuse
- Difficulties with orgasm
- Arousal disorders
- Premature or delayed ejaculation
- Erectile dysfunction
- Inability to have sex
Communication & Relationship issues
Communication is key in all areas of our lives. It can be the most powerful tool we have or the most destructive. Using communication effectively can change the most broken relationship, finalise the best business deal, inspire the unmotivated and lighten the heart of the saddest person. So very often it’s not what we say, but the way we say it that makes the most dramatic impact on who we are talking with. The quality of your life and your relationships change when you communicate effectively.DISC Personality Profiling.
Each of us communicates differently depending on our experiences, our emotional intelligence and our personalities. DISC profiling gives a good indication on your prominent style of personality, your attitude to things, how you deal with situations, how you make decisions, your personal motivation, how much of a risk taker you are, how you communicate and lots more. DISC profiling can help you understand your own strengths and developmental areas in ways to overcome conflict within situations or relationships. It teaches how to recognise how people communicate differently and what you can do to communicate more effectively. It also shows how your personality style changes under stress and during change.
When we communicate consciously in a more effective manner relationships can be effected in a positive way immediately. We can’t live in this world without creating relationships and to get the best out of each relationship we need to communicate in the most effective way possible and DISC has proven to be a fantastic tool to have both in business and socially. Each client receives DISC Personality Profiling during their bespoke program.
If you're finding it more challenging than ever to juggle the demands of your job and the rest of your life, you're not alone. Many people are putting in extra hours, or using their smartphones, lap tops, and iPads to be on call when they're not physically at work.
Often work / life balance issues can leave you feeling drained, over whelmed or feeling out of control, under performing, maybe even anxious. Its important not to wait until a more pressing condition arises before addressing the problem. The pressure of an increasingly demanding work culture in the UK is perhaps the biggest and most pressing challenge to the mental health of the general population.
Loss of purpose and direction
Sometime people feel lost, no passion, or perhaps they feel they have no purpose in life. They may recognise there are not living a fulfilling life and have more to offer yet are struggling to find the direction or make the changes.
The person wants to change their life but they see no goal for it. No goal means no direction or starting point. Hence the hours spent wallowing in procrastination. Sometimes these feelings have come from life challenges, personal, financial, career loss or disappointments or even a knock of confidence.
What ever the reasons may be through solution focussed thinking sessions clients develop direction, motivation, drive, discipline, enthusiasm and purpose.
London Business Owner - Property Developer
"Before deciding to contact Amanda-Jane I was felling swamped by the various pressures of my family and work life not helped by my sleeping habits which were poor leaving me unrested and on the back foot. After addressing my lack of sleep the program has helped me gain some clarity and adopt a more effective approach to managing matters. it’s no coincidence that all the areas of my life have improved since seeing Amanda-Jane."