Total session: 5 sessions over 6 weeks
The Father of a 16 year old girl brought her to see me who was experiencing relationship difficulties and after a particular bad argument at home the parents were at the point of throwing their daughter out of the family home. They were at their wits end and didn’t know how to deal with her aggressive and destructive behaviour. Previously, there had been no behaviour issues, she had been a kind, caring and affectionate girl however her behaviour changed dramatically over several months, something which was very much out of character.
The teenager wasn’t sleeping well and hadn’t been for some time. She admitted her behaviour was unacceptable but felt so angry towards her parents she didn’t know how to control her feelings or put them into a rational way of explaining. She felt her parents didn’t listen to her or understand her, one minute her parents were telling her to act more maturely and to take responsibility yet at other times restricted her freedom so much and still treated her as a young child. She felt her parents were sending mixed messages.
She loved her younger brother immensely yet had pulled away from him and took out some of her frustrations on him by shouting at him. She could see this was hurting him but didn’t know how to change her behaviours. She was unhappy but didn’t know how to break the cycle of behaviour or how to rebuild the relationship with her parents.
Whilst listening to my client explaining her family’s expectations of her (chores, babysitting her brother, college results and the interaction with her parents) I could see how she immediately began to rationally process what she was hearing herself say. She recognised that their expectations were not too bad after all and were in fact rather fair when compared with what her parents were giving her (an expensive creative arts college education).
I asked my client how she would like to deal with situations differently. Over the next few weeks whilst listening to the CD at night to help with the sleeping difficulties my client started to use different strategies and techniques in dealing with challenging family situations. My client also explained what she felt she needed from her parents to help her change her behaviour. Working as the mediator, together we were able to create a new way of dealing with previously challenging conversations or situations.
My client started to show her parents how much they meant to her, she had wanted to go to the pictures with her Mum for a while like they used to but she had become too embarrassed and afraid to ask because she had behaved so badly towards her Mum. Her Mum had no idea she wanted this time with her. She had wanted to give her Dad a hug like they always did, but he had become too stressed at work and was in his office all the time. If she approached him he would only mention the rows that had been occurring. Any form of positive communication or affection had become a big issue in this family, yet it was what each of the three of them wanted.
My client started to build bridges with the family by sending affectionate texts or leaving notes for her parents, to start with, this being an easier method than face-to-face. It was easier with the younger brother, so she spent more time with him playing games, helping him with his pets and watching TV together. Her parents saw this and started to recognise the changes which resulted in them easing off, instead of mentioning everything they felt she did wrong.
Over the next 2 sessions it became obvious the stress and pressure this teenager was experiencing. She was regularly having to audition for parts in various plays and auditioning dance routines to be accepted for her next college.
We spent time building her confidence, self-esteem and recognising her own strengths and abilities as a dancer. The behaviour issues at home just disappeared as she and her family recognised that most of the behaviour issues were the result of the pressure she was putting on herself and not wishing to let her family down, particularly as it was such an expensive college and the financial pressure it placed upon her parents.
She rebuilt the relationships with her parents, was sleeping throughout the night, was in control of her emotions and generally felt calmer and more relaxed. Her dancing had improved and she was auditioning with the confidence she used to have once more, achieving great results. Her dance tutor could see how she held herself more confidently which showed in all her dancing.
If you would like support resolving your own, your family’s or your employees issues please Contact us today. We’d be delighted to hear from you.
Total session: 4 sessions over 9 weeks
An 8 year old boy was referred to me who was small and underweight for his age with food issues. His Mother reported the variety of what he ate was limited along with very small portions which would take him a least an hour to eat with his Mum encouraging him all the time to hurry up.
Both the boy and his Mum wanted him to go to parties and to tea with his friends or go out for days as a family without worrying what he would eat. The boy really wanted to go to Pizza Hut for his friend’s birthday, but couldn’t physically eat pizza.
One of the first things to find out was if any of the following were an issue regarding food; colour, consistency, smell, texture, sweet or sourness, spicy, crunchy or lumpy.
We then went through all the foods he would eat and finding out if he could mix these foods together. He would eat, cheese, ham, bread with butter, but would not eat a sandwich made of these ingredients. I then wrote down the various food groups (fruit, veg, meat, cakes, dairy, sweets and salads) and together we wrote out a list. We put a mark next to the ones he did like, the ones he didn’t like and the ones he had never tried.
Giving him the control he chose by himself 5 different foods that he wanted to try over the following week. I asked him if he had any ideas of how he could speed up his meal times. He came up with timing himself for 15 minutes at each meal time on his new digital watch. I suggested that if he could eat his dinner in under 15 minutes each day for 1 week what reward would he like for completing this? His suggestion was for a £1.99 Lego figure as part of a set he was collecting.
I asked what his Mum or Dad could do to help him achieve this. He asked not to have such big meals and for Mum not to keep going on at him. Both Mum and her son agreed that if he chose the meal size he thought he could eat and ate all that he had chosen within 15 minutes each evening Mum would not moan at him. Breakfast had never been a problem for this boy as he had always eaten well at that time of day.
When looking at the list of foods he’d chosen there were quite a lot he would eat. Over time both he and Mum had become so anxious about meal times the problem became a huge issue with tears and shouting at most meal times. I asked Mum to ease off and let him take some control for a while and see if the cycle of behaviour changed.
Over the next few weeks my client chose new foods to try when shopping, had a spoonful of different food types from his parents plates, all without the pressure of having to finish it. He also took responsibility and recognised that he may need to try things a few times before deciding if he liked it or not. He put ham, cheese and a wrap on his plate and ate them individually at first and then put a little of each in his mouth. He then put them all together and ate a ham and cheese wrap. This encouraged him and for the first time ever Mum bought him a ham sandwich from a shop whilst out for the day.
Gradually over the weeks he took control, chose the amount of food he had at meal times, ate at an acceptable speed and introduced new foods eating them more regularly. He helped his Mum cook pizza and other dishes where he knew he liked all of the ingredients and put them together to create a new dish. He and his family were so much more relaxed around meal times and they were no longer dreaded.
By the last session he had been to a friend’s party at Pizza Hut and the family had also been able to eat out together without any issues. He still eats smaller portions than peers of his own age, but food itself is no longer an issue.
Throughout all of this time different supporting CD’s were used each night.
If you would like support resolving your own, your family’s or your employees issues please Contact us today. We’d be delighted to hear from you.
Total session: 6 over 13 weeks
I met this lovely well mannered, polite, quiet young man who sat with his head low, hardly making any eye contact and was very softly spoken. He had always been shy and introvert outside of his immediate family and his home since a very young age. He was achieving academically at school but socially was finding it increasingly difficult to interact with his peers and to have the confidence to go to new places or to try new things and meet new people. Over the next period of time together we came up with new strategies and techniques on how to deal with meeting new people, how to initiate conversations, how to interact with people and put his opinions forward. We began to reduce the anxiety of speaking out in discussion groups or in class. This client found he was too anxious when speaking to his friends on his mobile phone and would only contact his friends via text.
Over the Xmas period we used this opportunity with his family to answer the telephone at home, to call family members on the mobile, to play games with all of his family, extended family and friends. My client then pushed himself and came up with other suggestions on how he could start interacting more with people. Some of his suggestions were; talking to cashiers at the shops when paying for goods or saying good morning to an older person. He gradually found his safety boundaries of where he felt comfortable and then expanded on it each week. Over the next 3 months his confidence and self -esteem improved, he would look directly at me when talking, sit up straight, smile, laugh and be engaged in conversations. On the last session I hadn’t seen him for 5 weeks. He walked into the clinic tall; head held high, his hair had been cut in a new fashionable style wearing new clothes. He had been into the local town at the weekends, talking to friends and their friends, initiating new things to do as a group. He now happily spoke on the phone.
A few months later his Mum emailed to say that he was doing really well. He was coping brilliantly at school ,he had great exam results and he now had a part time job and a girlfriend.
If you would like support resolving your own, your family’s or your employees issues please Contact us today. We’d be delighted to hear from you.
Total session: 6 sessions over 10 weeks
An 8 year old boy came to see me with a fear of dogs that he had had since the age of 3. His Mum felt she was responsible for the fear, it had started whilst she was walking along holding his hand when a large friendly dog came bounding up and knocked her little boy over and started licking his face. The Mum screamed and shouted at the dog. She realises now she totally over reacted at the time, that there had been no danger to her or her boy; she had simply been taken by surprise.
Since then whenever her son saw a dog, he ran and hid behinds his parents, screaming and crying, needing to be picked up. He is always anxious when playing, fearing a dog could be nearby. The boy and the family stop themselves going to some public places in case a dog is around.
Because of the age of the boy and the severity of the fear it was paramount that the treatment plan went at his speed and not that of mine or the parents.
I established what the exact fear of dogs was. The fear was of all dogs of all sizes, breeds and of all ages even tiny puppies. The boy wanted to like dogs, he wanted to feed and stroke the dog next door to where he lived. Over the next few weeks with the use of the CD at night time we began to reduce the anxiety linked to dogs. Together we recognised his boundaries and then came up with ideas of how far he could push himself each week to help get closer to his goal of overcoming his fear. He also learnt what the normal expected amount of apprehension or anxiety regarding unknown dogs or dogs off the lead or large barking dogs should be.
During the next 6 sessions over a 10 week period he found that he could to go outside to play in parks and go to football matches and not even think about dogs or even notice that there was one near him. He gave treats to the old dog next door whilst he was tied up in the car. He went to a family BBQ and took a picture to show me of a dog running around his feet whilst he happily ate. Whilst in a pub garden with his parents a policeman and two police dogs came to search the pub, he didn’t go running back to his parents, he sat quietly and watched the dogs work, previously this would have been an extremely anxious and frightening experience for him. Yet now he was fascinated by how the dogs worked for the police.
This period of time was governed by his own ability to change his belief about dogs, at the speed and time he needed. He still wasn’t a major dog lover by the time he left me, but he wasn’t scared anymore. Dogs didn’t restrict him or his family in anyway. He was beginning to think that some dogs looked rather lovely and cute and was wondering what it would be like to cuddle them.
Total session: 6 over 13 weeks
Age and occupation: 41 year Accountant
This client was referred to me after being signed off work for stress and anxiety. This lady had been suffering from; panic attacks, OCD, negative thinking, stress and anxiety for a number of years. She had learnt to manage these systems by creating various coping strategies that meant she was able to hide from others how she was really feeling and how difficult she found some situations to cope with. However things had deteriorated considerably and she was now left unable to cope with the pressure and work load within the work place. She was unhappy at work, she was successful and a competent accountant yet doubted her own ability which was worsening particularly due to a bullying boss. She had been unsuccessfully applying for new positions in other companies, but knew her lack of confidence was showing through and she wasn’t demonstrating her full potential. In addition the client had an irrational feeling of guilt connected to the death of a family member when she was a teenager.
During the first session we removed the feelings of guilt relating to the family loss from many years ago. Previously my client would think about the death numerous times during the day and would still find it very upsetting. Within one session she was completely free of this issue that she had been carrying and had been haunting her since she was a little girl.
She would regularly listen to the CD at night time and over the following weeks the stress and anxiety began to reduce in many areas of her life without even needing to mention some of these issues whilst she was in the clinic room. She began to take back control and think more rationally and logically about situations. My client stopped the habit she had created of negatively thinking that something bad would happen to her or her family, particularly if she drove too far away from them or she was apart from them for too long. She began to drive further away from home and even booked a weekend away, which she had never done before. She started to take control in other areas of her life and found the confidence to visit the dentist which she had found too stressful before.
Gradually her confidence grew over the weeks. She started going out more and taking up fitness classes whilst trying to lose weight. The OCD reduced greatly, she found that she was able to stop the physical habits that she had created that would help reduce the anxiety she was feeling. Previously she would only chose certain cups to use for coffee at work or go through a certain door, convincing herself that a family member would die if she didn’t do things in a certain way or in a certain time. This client found an unknown freedom that she hadn’t experienced for at least 10 years.
After leaving the treatment program for the next 6 months she continued with her interviews and successfully acquired a new position in a company. She carried out one of her dreams and travelled to America. She also attended workshops on new interests, lost weight and carried out charity work.
The client continued to play the support CD all through her treatment programme and for the months afterwards.
Total session: 4 Sessions over 9 weeks
A 12 year old boy was referred to me to help him overcome the anxiety he was suffering with going to the toilet. The young boy had never been able to go to the toilet and empty his bowels when he felt he needed to go, this was a long term issue that had never been resolved since he came out of nappies as a toddler. This problem was becoming ever increasingly embarrassing as a 12 year old boy as it resulted in dirty underwear throughout the day, which his peers were beginning to notice. He had been to see various doctors, dieticians, nutritionists. Many reward or punishment approaches had been tried by his parents over the years but with no success. As he was approaching puberty at times he was showing increased anger and frustration towards his twin brother.
During the first session I ascertained exactly what would happen when he needed to go to the toilet. There was no problem when he actually put himself on the toilet, he then just got in with it and went normally. He was confident with wiping himself and then once finished he didn’t even think about it until the next time he need to go. When he next got the urge to go to the toilet he would hold it. His stomach would hurt for a while and then the urge to go to the toilet would go away for a while and return 10 minutes later. He would then worry about needing to go to the toilet and would keep stopping himself for up to 8 hours a day. He would only finally go to the toilet when he started to feel himself empty his bowels in his pants. He would then go on the toilet and open his bowels without any further issues.
After he had spent time explaining the situation to myself, he began to understand and recognise for himself that he actually spent 8 hours worrying about something that only took 5-10 minutes to complete when he got on with it, he walked out of the clinic saying ” I can’t see why it was a problem in the first place “
One week later he had managed to go to the toilet every day and without having any dirty pants, he was still holding his bowel movements for about 10 minutes each time though.
My client felt that when he went to go to the toilet he would be missing out on something; one of his brothers may cheat on a game or turn the TV channel over or carry on playing a game without him. Handing back the control I asked my client what his family could do to help him. He suggested to help him overcome this last part of holding his bowels for 10 minutes could his family support him by pausing the film, stop playing the game for a few minutes or for his brother not to run off outside without him. The family happily agreed.
The issue had been resolved by the first session, however, I needed to confirm that the changes that had been made were imbedded in and the problem had been completely resolved. Over the next few weeks my client found new ways of dealing with his brother when he had annoyed him, he managed to stop some of the habits he had created himself; fiddling with something whilst sitting or watching TV and swearing in particular, at the same time in the back ground making sure the toilet issue had been fully resolved.
After 4 sessions over a period of 9 weeks, the initial problem of holding his bowel movement had gone for 8 weeks. If he had the need to go to the toilet at any time or in any place he was able to go immediately as soon as he felt the urge. He no longer even thinks about it anymore. He had learnt to deal with situations calmer and had considerably cut down on the swearing. He became a much happier 12 year old boy.
Total session: 4 sessions over 8 weeks
A 12 year old boy was referred to me having suffered involuntary noises for 4 months making constant hiccup and burping noises every 7 seconds. He had seen his GP, a chiropractor, an ear nose and throat specialist, had X-rays and examinations with no physical explanation concluded. He saw a psychologist whose prognosis was probably psychosomatic and was told to go away and stop making the noise. By now the boy was attending limited lessons at school and those he did attend were carried out in a secluded room away from his class mates. He was embarrassed and becoming increasingly angry and frustrated by the noise. He gradually became more withdrawn from his friends and hobbies, he had stopped all afterschool clubs and sport teams that he belonged to.
During the first session I established when, where and how the noise begun. It started as a bad cough and cold, the first time it happened was when he used a steam inhaler to help with his sinuses, the vapour added was too strong and he inhaled too sharply, this surprised him, made him catch his breath and made a hiccup / burp noise which carried on for that evening. Upon waking the next morning the noise continued and he was kept off school for another week. He attempted to return to a normal timetable but because of the interruption from the noise he was making all lessons he attended were taken elsewhere.
I soon established that the boy didn’t make the noise whilst eating or sleeping supporting the conclusion that it was not a physical condition and a subconscious behaviour that had become a habit.
Over the next four sessions it came to light that he had established a degree of anxiety concerning two of his teachers and was feeling anxious about being shouted at in class. Subconsciously he had created the hiccup noise to allow him to avoid these classes, to save him from being put in an anxious situation that he didn’t know how to deal with.
During the 4 sessions he was taught strategies and techniques of how to deal with his worries and develop coping mechanisms to help him overcome challenging situations both now and in the future.
Throughout the 8 week period he returned to his sporting hobbies and gradually attended school more often. The noise started to decrease and became less dramatic and quieter. He asked that his parents did not discuss the noise when he was around or to other people.
The end result was that after 4 sessions over a period of 8 weeks, the boy returned to the classroom and full time school, full after school activities, he was competing in all his team sports and the noise stopped. Throughout his treatment programme different supporting CD’s were listened to each night.
Total session: 8 over a 12 week period
Age and occupation: 51 year Sales Director
This client was a successful business man who held a position on the Board of Directors of a well-known company. He has been in this position for a year. The client had been referred to me because he was now signed off work due to stress and anxiety and had been finding it extremely difficult to cope with the demands of a challenging CEO. He had been recently suffering from extreme panic attacks particularly anything relating to work. For the first time ever he found he couldn’t carry out presentations, even to his own team members. Each project he found increasingly more daunting and noticed that he began to feel anxious as soon as new emails came in, particularly any from the company CEO.
This anxiety and stress was not only affecting his work but his home life too. He had become more withdrawn over time and found little enjoyment in his usual interests of family, music, cooking and art. This client also had big changes occurring in his personal life during this particular time; he was trying to sell his house and buy another house abroad, at the same time as trying to juggle his finances. He had decisions to make about his own career also taking in to consideration all of the family needs. He was completely burnt out and he didn’t know how to make any decisions or how to cope with any area of his life.
Using the CD throughout the treatment program over the next 8 sessions he began to make the necessary changes to regain control once more over his thoughts and how he dealt with situations, how he coped with the demands of company or people he worked with. He began to look at his options more rationally and make decision easier so he felt in control over his life.
During the treatment programme we removed the self- limiting belief of being unable to confront people along with the feeling that he had never been or ever would be good enough or successful in whatever he did. Even though it was evident he was a highly successful and financially secure businessman, this belief had been established many years ago whilst he was badly psychically bullied through most of his secondary school years. He could now recognise his own patterns of behaviour, emotions or thoughts that he would often experience whilst in a confrontational situation. These situations would often cause the same feelings and show itself as stress and anxiety, particularly with his new boss.
By learning new techniques and strategies of dealing with his own negative thoughts he was able to look at situations in a more rational way, resulting in an ability to find the solutions to all his problems or decisions. The anxiety and stress began to reduce. He was able to deliver presentations once more to his team and to larger audiences. He successfully organised and delivered the opening speech to a new project launch held in a very prestigious venue with worldwide, well known influential members of his industry, along with a few famous characters. He returned to carry out his business duties overseas once more. He also found he was able to deal with the CEO more rationally and effectively, he understood his boss’s personality better and didn’t take things so personally. He became more engaged with his family and returned to his hobbies feeling generally calmer, happier and enjoying life.
He began to look at future opportunities with excitement, rather than with a feeling of fear or panic. He confidently took the opportunity to live and work abroad.
He returned to work after 3 sessions but stayed with the treatment programme for maximum benefits for 8 sessions.
Total session: 4 over 5 a week period
Age and occupation: 52 year male surgeon
Nothing major was happening in this client’s life, he loved his job, he felt in total control whilst at work, yet felt he was out of balance outside of work and knew he wasn’t performing to the best of his ability with his finances and family commitments the pressure of life had become to much
This client had been suffering with poor sleep for some time; he was still very professional and competent in his work. There was no apparent sign that his work was being affected and he felt totally in control at work. When leaving the hospital he started to think in a completely different way; he became negative, irrational and emotional within all the other areas of his life; how he dealt with his ex-wife, his children, his new wife and finances. He noticed that his drinking had increased and he could easily drink a few glasses each night. He had also found he had become despondent and had stopped enjoying the simple pleasures in life and all that he had around him. He had become irritable and not much fun to be around. Simple chores around the house had become a burden. He was lethargic and unmotivated.
This client found an immediate positive effect when using the CD at night and began to sleep more peacefully. He found he woke brighter and had more energy. Over the next 4 sessions he found he reduced his drinking and drank in moderation only at meals times with his wife. He became more focused and productive around the house. He spent quality time with his boys and became what he called ‘Daddy’ again. As his confidence increased he was able to deal with his ex -wife and her demands in a more detached and rational way. He developed a method of enabling himself to keep on top of his paperwork by working out a timetable at home without him feeling he had taken time away from his family. He dealt with his financial issues and worked out a repayment plan, insurances and pensions for his future. He was sleeping better, he felt calmer, more relaxed and back in control of his life.
Total session: 4 over an 8 week period
Age and occupation: 35 year old IT Manager
This man came to me feeling totally worthless, he had been out of work for 2 years, and he had unsuccessfully attended many interviews. His relationship with his partner had completely broken down; he was financially being supported by his partner. They had not been intimate for many months and were now sleeping in different rooms and were at the point of separating. He had lost all ambition, drive and motivation in all areas by the continual knock backs. His sleep was dramatically affected and he would often lay awake for hours worrying about his problems.
During the first session I established that he was a very talented, funny, easy going man. He did still have ambition and drive when he thought about what he wanted out of life and what his dreams were. He had simply got into a spiral of negative thoughts and beliefs. The issues and problems with his relationship with his partner were dramatically impacted through his thoughts, behaviour and belief about himself. Unfortunately the problems within the relationship were not seen for what they were and the blame of the broken relationship was being put on the issue of his unemployment only.
Over the next few weeks by taking his attention away from what he didn’t have and focusing on what he did want from life and what he was good at, he was able to take more control in certain areas. He started to finish off the DIY chores, started to cook the evening meals, take more pride in his appearance and dress more smartly. He started to look at the possibility of re-training in a different profession. He instigated family days out and took on more responsibility around the house and for the children.
There were two main things that this man knew that he was good at without any doubt;
With the knowledge and positive feelings associated to these two things, we transferred this feeling into a belief in his himself and that during the following week he would be able to demonstrate his ability to an interviewer that he could successfully carry out the role he was applying for.
Over this 2 month period he was offered a job, his relationship with his partner increased greatly, his confidence and self-esteem grew and he once more believed in himself. His humour and zest for life returned.
Total session: 7 (5 +2) over a 6 week period & 2 week period 9 months later
Age and occupation: 35 year Solicitor
This client was referred to me because she had been signed off work for 3 months due to anxiety linked to the emotional impact of 3 miscarriages over the last year. Sadly each time this lady lost her babies in the second trimester of her pregnancies. After numerous tests and investigations, that in themselves were painful and upsetting, no answers could be given as to why this was happening. This client wanted to put these experiences into perspective to return to work and enjoy time with her husband and little girl again rather than continually grieving over what she had lost.
Over the next 7 sessions this lady began to feel more rational about the situation and more hopeful of a full term pregnancy, she had one healthy child already so she knew there was nothing physically wrong which meant it could be possible. She began to play with her little girl again and her relationship with her husband became more open and honest. My client realised that she felt under a huge amount of pressure to give her husband another child and each time she lost a baby she felt she had failed him. Talking together rather than hiding from the situation, they made plans and accepted that they may only have the one child and they were ok with that.
Whilst off work she had developed anxiety about returning, by learning new ways of dealing with difficult situations or challenging questions she may be asked, she was able to return to work after 4 sessions with a calmer and more positive attitude.
8 months later she returned having falling pregnant once more. She was becoming increasingly anxious and worried that she may lose this baby as well even though she was being monitored carefully and having regular tests to see if all was ok by the specialist. Once again she was sleeping badly and the negative thoughts had returned. She was very fearful of going back to where she was when she first met me. By playing the CD as often as possible in addition to the treatment sessions she was able to reduce the anxiety and a more peaceful sleep was restored within 2 sessions. She felt she was able to cope with whatever happened this time. Months later she delivered a healthy baby.